Affaire de Cœur

A slightly chilly morning beautified by the sparkling brilliance of trees which have been washed by the downpour that happened a few minutes ago, the splendour of the water-filtered sunlight complete with winds that have got rid of their dust, marks the beginning of a new day-Today.

A rain-washed day looks sanctimonious enough to assume that we are far away from the ills of the world.
Today is such a day. You call out to me and we decide to go for a stroll. A stroll that has the twittering of birds and the mellifluous whispering of winds as company. Conversation is random, bordering more on the figments of imagination than the usual hard-core facts of worldly mundane theatricals.
You look amazingly and sincerely handsome in a spotless white chikan kurta matched only with a smile that has the magnificence of a thousand moonlit nights. You look at me and the innocence in your eyes makes my heart sing a different tune. I smile and turn around with the wind playing with the strands of my hair and your eyes playing havoc with my heart.
Silence plays hide and seek with random words, tidbits of conversation and stealthy glances. My hair flies, off and on, and then finds a cosy place to rest on your shoulder.
Sun sparkles in its magnificence and we realize it is time to go back. Back to the snug confines of an assemblage of trees, plants and flowers that we choose to call our garden. With kadak adrak ki chai, newspaper in hands, we croon softly to “karwan guzar gaya” in the background.
By and by, our foreheads crease. The smile, which danced on our lips, disappears slowly as we turn to face each other for the first time since we stepped out. Our voices rise, the volume is turned down, we get into an argument where invariably we are on the same side. It is the same story yet again.
BJP loses again only to rekindle the fire within us, only to let the affair of our hearts intensify.
Marriage has its moments.

मैं एक उन्मुक्त विहग हूँ मुझे पूरा आकाश चाहिए

कहते हैं की वक़्त के पहले
किस्मत के बहार कुछ नहीं मिलता
सत्य है यह वचन शायद
वरना मनुष्य यूँही नहीं सहता

गुज़र जाते हैं वो वक़्त हालात
वह पल, वह खूबसूरत लम्हात
हाथ आकर भी जो छूट जाए
रह जाता है बस उसी का एहसास

ख़ुशी, ग़म, आरजू, या वेदना
किसी का दर्द, या किसी का बिलखना,
किसी की चेष्टा या स्वयं का प्रत्यन
हो जाते हैं वाक्यात्, सब इसी में सृजन

वर्षों तक दम तोड़ता विश्वास
आसमान को छूने की झकझोरती आस
फिर भी फिसल जाना उसका आपकी मुट्ठी से
कब तक रखेंगे इरादे मज़बूत कर के?

लोगों के तमगे, 'बदतमीजी' का एहसास
ज़बान पे लगाम, मन में दफ़न ज़ज्बात
दोस्त हो कर भी न हो, मन को बांधे रखिये
इल्जाम हमेशा एक, की आप बेरहम हैं बड़े जिद्दी

फिर अचानक समझना और समझाना
हंसी और मुस्कराहट में है फर्क गहरा
वो खेलते हुए शब्द, वो गाते हुए पल
अच्छा लगा एक लम्बे अन्तराल बाद

कुछ चीज़ें न बदले, न सावन फिर आये
वह बंद कपाट, वो ठंडे ज़ज्बात
वापस फिर उसी ओर, उसी टूटते विश्वास के पास
हो जाओ विलीन, भूल जाओ खुला आसमान
आये जब तक न कायनात तुम्हारे पास |

PS: I owe the title to a friend.

Chup hoon main

Bechain hoon main, khamosh hoon main.
Aaj chup hoon, niruttar hoon main,
Kaun hai wo, kya cheez hai,
Kiya kyun aisa, stambh hoon main.

Aaj shaam jal rahi hai,
Hansi kahin kho gayi hai,
Na sur mein, na taal mein,
Na kisi hi kitaab mein,
Man mera lag raha hai,
Pareshan hoon main.

Nahin dekh sakti, in veerano ko main,
Maathe par pade in gaddhon ko main,
Kahin to kisi ne koi galti kari,
Kyun bhugte hum, ye hain uljhan badi
Usne socha tha ki ghar wo hai gayi,
Nikla arth ulta, chutti mehengi padi
Kiya yaad usne, mujhe badi samajh,
Daandhas bandhaya maine, use choti samajh,
Mann uska maine tha halka kiya,
Lekin kyun hai mann mera itna vichlit abhi?

Karoon to karoon kya, kya chilla padoon?
Man ka saare gubaar, kya aaj nikaal doon?
Soch soch ke nasein hai fatne lagi
Kuch badla nahn, sirf dekhti rahi
Aaye gaye mausam, main sochti rahi,
Ki kahin to kabhi to, ugega suraj abhi,
Hua kuch nahn, bus main khadi rahi,
Apnon ke ghamon ko badhta dekthi rahi,
Mann masosti rahi, chup main khadi rahi,
Ladi thi ek waqt pe, par aaj nahn kar saki.

Jo tootna tha, wo to bacha nhn saki,
Jo tootega abhi, wo bhi jayega yunhi
Chaknachoor hote tukdon ko uthana padega
Usmein simti hai duniya, pryatn karna padega
Koshish yahi rahegi, ki wo khush rahe,
Mann mera mar jaaye, par wo hansti rahe

Rone ka mann hai, chillane ka bhi,
Shayad ro bhi doon, akele mein kahin,
Kisi se na bol paaon, na shikwe karoon
Mook gudiya ki tarah tamasha dekthi rahoon.

Main bechain hoon, khamosh hoon main.
Aaj chup hoon, niruttar hoon main,
Har cheez hai aaj badli, aashcharyachakit na main
Umeed ke daaman to phir bhi thaami hoon main
Badlungi waqt ko kabhi, yahi sochti hoon main,
Filhaal khadi main, chup chaap hoon main!

WHY

It takes birth when we are born,
Often relinquished when we die,
At times jubilant, at times forlorn
This is the whole epiphany of 'why'.